SWOT Analysis of an Engineer

Strengths- Male engineers are the only species on this planet that can sleep with males from their own kind for around 4 years and still not turn homosexual. Such self-restraint usually stems from the prevalent delusion in the mind of an engineer (which, by the way, is a big empty town hall). He firmly believes that upon the completion of his engineering, he will be handed over a ‘Kingfisher model meets Arundhati Roy’ kind of bride along with his degree. Forget the former, only a few are actually able to receive the latter even. Talking of delusions, female engineers have their own set. They think they are God’s ‘beauty with brains’ prototype. However, the amount of attention received by them can be attributed to the old adage that beggars (read male engineers) cannot be choosers. But such delusions are what keep the economy going. No delusion means no engineering. No engineering means no engineers. No engineers mean no investment bankers, no authors, no social workers, no ad makers, no janitors etc. Get the point?

Engineers seem to have mastered the art of survival. Food- good, bad, ugly, none- engineers just don’t care! You can run an engineer on a 2Mbps internet connection for days without a break. Engineers don’t even take pee-breaks. That is because the only time an engineer pees (in his pants) is when the semester results are out, which is once every 4 months. A very modest frequency, if you ask me. Engineers love night-outs- Sleep is for mortals, not engineers. An engineer uses lesser water in a year than a normal human being does in a day. (However, the statistics for consumption of deodorant are reversed.) If you have a pack of cigarettes, you can easily employ 20 engineers for a day. But please mind the fact that their efficiency is inversely proportional to the number of days left to the deadline. Engineers can share everything from books to boxers. They are adept at adapting to unadoptable situations. Rajnikant was an engineer before he became Rajnikant.

Weaknesses- Contrary to popular belief, mathematics, and not girls is an engineer’s Kryptonite. Engineers stopped understanding math after standard 5. Since then, they have been only pretending to understand it. If you are wondering how come then, do engineers pass in engineering entrance exams? There’s a plain and simple logic to that. The entire gig is being run by engineers. They make sure that only the worst get through. Students with the potential to suck at math are selected and made to suck at it for another 4 years. At an engineering college, the only guys who really know math are the mess workers, the laundry man, the newspaper guy and the hostel guards. If your son can calculate 2+2 in under a minute without rushing to grab a calculator, then I’m sorry but I don’t think he’ll make it through JEE!

Girls finish a close second on the list (totally overrated) followed by TV series breathing down their neck at the third spot. Engineering students have been known to suffer from epileptic fits and seizures if they are unable to find the torrents for the latest episodes of American sitcoms. The only backlog an engineer actually dreads is a backlog in sitcoms. Again, an engineer’s method of watching sitcoms is entirely opposite to the conventional ‘one episode-per week-for several years’ approach that lesser mortals follow. The engineer adopts the ‘million episodes-from several years-in one week’ strategy to devour TV series like a black hole devours matter.

This addiction is a direct result of the enormous free time at the disposal of an engineer coupled with a belief that the central character of Sitcom X will one day transfer his traits to his devotee if he stuck with him for long enough (around 10 seasons). That explains why Barney and Dexter are so popular among engineers. After all, sense of humour and crisp looks definitely help in getting laid.

Opportunities- Numerous. No aspect of human life has been left untouched by engineers. From call centers to ‘One night @ call center’, from Deutche Bank to Dominoes, from Avatar to Avantador, from technicians to terrorists, you will find engineers all around you. The boogeyman under your kid’s bed-he’s a computer engineer who failed to make it to TCS. Engineers diversify and multiply faster than any bacteria or virus known to man.

Threats- Rajnikant, actual bankers, actual authors…basically every generic worker from a particular line of work. And Justin Bieber. And Lady Gaga.

Courtesy: The Pyjama Warriors-Battling stupidity with sarcasm. 

Google Doodle for 2nd October

Google Doodle on the occasion of Mahatma Gandhi's Birthday

Wall Graffiti !

Wall Rail Graffiti

Green Graffiti!

HipHop Graffiti @ Ingenious Art

TiTAN- John D. Rockefeller

          A National Book Critics Circle Award finalist, "Titan" draws on unprecedented access to John D. Rockefeller's private papers to reconstruct the story of his troubled origins and his single-minded pursuit of wealth.

          Seldom does an author so thoroughly reveal the essence of a man; Ron does an amazing job in revealing even the tiniest details of a man who was legendary both in the way he changed our industrial world and in the way he reinvented charitable outreach. Such a fascinating person. John D. was the richest man in the world of his time and the world's first billionaire. John D. Rockefeller was a study in contrasts, and from the dirty details of running his first oil enterprise to the even dirtier details of how he kept his grip on oil production, refining and transportation, Jon Chernow illustrates Rockefeller's merciless business side while also revealing to us a man so meticulous and generous in his giving that he single-handedly formed colleges and even the way medicine was practiced not only in our country but around the world. 

I really enjoyed this book.  And one only reaches such heights through dubious means; including extortion, bribes, back door deals, payroll politicians, and general cruelty to all the little fish below. 

There are many reasons to demonize someone such as him, but what surprised me, was how I often found myself liking him. He was excessively frugal, never ostentatious, and extremely charitable. He had a nice Baptist simplicity, and a pleasant air. His philanthropy revolutionized medical science and education. He also contributed to African American causes, feminist causes, and even Helen Keller, who was an outspoken socialist. 

I also enjoyed reading about his family; his scalawag of a father, who was a bigamist and a conman; his envious brothers, and his children, grandchildren, and in laws. Proof that inherited money can't buy happiness. 

I don't mean to say his good justified his bad, but it's very important to recognize the complexity and dichotomy of such powerful figures, and to take from it what you can. 

         If you've ever wanted a view inside the life of a man who has been both reviled and praised throughout the last century, you'll find no better source than Titan.

You can download it here:
Titan-Biography of John D. Rockefellar PDF Download-eBook
(Right click and save target as)

George W. Bush’s Intelligence Quiz

George W. Bush’s Intelligence Quiz

While visiting England, George W. Bush is invited to tea with the Queen. He asks her what her leadership philosophy is. She says that it is to surround herself with intelligent people. He asks how she knows if they’re intelligent.
“I do so by asking them the right questions,” says the Queen. “Allow me to demonstrate.”
She phones Tony Blair and says, “Mr. Prime Minister. Please answer this question: Your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or sister. Who is it?”
Tony Blair responds, “It’s me, ma’am.”
“Correct. Thank you and good-bye, sir,” says the Queen. She hangs up and says, “Did you get that, Mr. Bush?”
“Yes ma’am. Thanks a lot. I’ll definitely be using that!”
Upon returning to Washington, he decides he’d better put the Chairman of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee to the test. He summons Jesse Helms to the White House and says, “Senator Helms, I wonder if you can answer a question for me.”
“Why, of course, sir. What’s on your mind?”
“Uh, your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or your sister. Who is it?”
Helms hems and haws and finally asks, “Can I think about it and get back to you?” Bush agrees, and Helms leaves. He immediately calls a meeting of other senior senators, and they puzzle over the question for several hours, but nobody can come up with an answer. Finally, in desperation, Helms calls Colin Powell at the State Department and explains his problem.
“Now look here Colin Powell, your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother, or your sister. Who is it?” Powell answers immediately, “It’s me, of course, you dumb ass.”
Much relieved, Helms rushes back to the White House and exclaims, “I know the answer, sir! I know who it is! It’s Colin Powell!” And Bush replies in disgust, “Wrong, you dumb ass, It’s Tony Blair!”

Source
http://politicalhumor.about.com/library/jokes/bljokebushintelligence.htm

Midnight Sun-By Stephenie Meyer

This is for all those star-struck girls still drooling over Edward Cullen. You have your wish fullfilled in the form of Midnight Sun i.e. Twilight with Edward's perspective. Excited?? Don't be as this is only a partial draft...I say partial because Stephenie Meyer couldn't finish this book before it was leaked and so it didn't even went through the editing stages. It is unclear whether she'll continue this book in the future. It's been put on an indefinite hold; but even if she does decide to continue, it'll be only for Twilight. She won't be writing New Moon, Eclipse or Breaking Dawn from Edward's point of view
Still, Edward fans will surely have fun reading this one.

You can download it here:
Midnight Sun PDF Download-eBook
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You gotta have GUTS to read GUTS (By Chuck Palahniuk)

I really got a good laugh out of this. I had weak arms during one part, but I got through it. I just knew I had to read this when I heard that 75 people worldwide passed out after reading this short story. Well, I didn't pass out, but do understand why one would.

The key is to read this on an empty stomach.

"Gutsy" isn't the right word, but it's the first word that comes to mind.

The best way to utilise this story is to read it aloud to your friends and hopefully you can make them faint or atleast puke!

To download this click on the following link:

Guts by Chuck Palahniuk

*Warning-Not for the faint hearted!*

Hungry to Read? Read The Hunger Games Triology!

Before I start into this review, I would like to pose a question. Why is it so hard to talk about the books we love? I have been having just an unrelenting bitch of a time writing this review. I keep falling into holes and back-pedaling, not wanting to sound too squee or insincere and bring ruination on my real love for this book. Maybe it's because it's YA, about a plucky girl who surmounts incredible obstacles – but then, there, I'm doing it again – implying in my flip description that I'm somehow too adult and worldly to fall for this narrative. (And, I did it again.) I did fall for this narrative, hard, and I'm going to have to just suck it up and soldier on.

I started this book thinking the idea was preposterous: a government choosing to squelch rebellion by forcing its citizens to give up their children as contenders in the ultimate reality show of death to the last survivor. Yeah right, and yet it reminded me a lot of the absurdity of the Nazi party. I realized I believed a government could be this arrogant and wrathful. When people are pitted against each other instead of turning on the establishment they often fight each other within the failed system, fighting for that elusive top spot or ignoring the pain of others grateful to escape tragedy themselves.

I soon found myself intensely involved in the Hunger Games and hoping for a certain outcome that would certainly bring about the death of many children but save our brave little heroine. Once you're in, what option do you have but to play and survive? Collins did an amazing job of taking an unbelievable and predictable storyline and making it believable and unpredictable. Complete with an impossible love interest, twists in the arena to keep you guessing, and both sympathy and hatred for the other characters, the book is hard to put down. I stayed up late to reach the conclusion that would seem obvious but was still evasive when I could conceive many alternate endings. In some ways the story reminded me of Lord of the Flies, but without as frustrating of a dues ex machina ending.

I found it interesting that even in this life and death situation, the kids refused to do anything that would displease the capitol and make them look rebellious or unwilling to play, or worse emotional and disturbed by death. They did not bond with each other, help each other, or ever want to be indebted by anyone's kindness. Sad that the gravest error would be vulnerability of spirit because the tough ones are the ones to survive. There is obviously a lot of death hashed out, but only a handful experienced by our narrator. There is one death that I wonder if it may be a little overboard, but for the most part, what could have been a gruesome story was handled very tactfully. Nonetheless the subject matter is not appropriate for younger children.

My one compliant about the novel would be the overuse of fragments. As a grammar freak, I'll let powerful fragments go. On occasion. As a literary device. But you throw five and six back to back. Just for effect. And all I'm doing is counting. How many are going by before we're back to complete sentences. There were a few paragraphs with way too many. But that's just a style difference. And the story is worth it. A good tale and a thinker.

Even after I closed this book, I found myself mulling over the statements about society, our gruesome need for reality TV, how much a community will let others suffer as long as they are safe, and the strength of the human spirit when backed up against the wall. I enjoyed Katniss' emotionally detached character, Peeta's vulnerable goodness, and Rue's small but fighting spirit. Now I want to learn more about Gale(Which I did in Catching Fire). A good strong female protagonist and a great set up for the sequel which I've already read. How will the capital be brought down? Who will Katniss chose? Can she stand by and let another gruesome show go by training the tributes from her village without action? You must be intrigued and hungry for more.

DOWNLOADS:

The Hunger Games (The Hunger Games 1) PDF Download
Catching Fire (The Hunger Games 2) PDF Download
Mockingjay (The Hunger Games 3) PDF Download
Have Fun. Happy Reading!

This Is US- Backstreet Boys

    Album Art-'This Is Us' by 'Backstreet Boys'

I've been listening to this amazing album for quite a while now and still I never seem to get enough of it. People say that BSB have lost its pop charm of which they were the pioneers during the nineties but I whole-heartedly, disagree.

I've rated all the songs on my iPod just as mentioned below and all of them feature in my favorites! A short description of every song is as follows...

 

1."Straight Through My Heart" 5/5 (Peppy, Catchy, Superb!)
2. "Bigger" 5/5 (Smooth and slow, great tune)
3. "Bye Bye Love" 5/5 (Another Hottie, upbeat tune)
4. "All of Your Life (You Need Love)" (4/5 Really Nice one as well)
5. "If I Knew Then" (4/5 R&B Tune, lush music, A.J's voice so great in this one....!)
6. "This Is Us" (5/5 The perfect song in terms of defining the album, great harmony of voices, as always!)
7. "PDA" (4/5 The funky-tuned song, typical disco beats and catchy rhymes)
8. "Masquerade" (5/5 Another great song....disco tune, along with typical BSB rockin'!)
9. "She's a Dream" (5/5 Another one of those BSB beauties, that sound different and are still are lyrically and musically peppy!)
10. "Shattered" (5/5 Mah most favorite song from the album, remind you of old BSB along with the tunes of this modern era, the modern derivation of Show Me The Meaning....
11. "Undone" (5/5 You get typical 'George Michael' feel when you listen to this and the music is so good that it crawls and grows on you, you can feel the song on yourself when you listen to it. Nick sounds so matured in this one and you can feel it. Not just he, A.J, Brian and Howie all sound great as always.....)

12. “International Luv” (4/5 A very up-to-the-beat song, with some seriously cool music!)

Love This Album! What an album This Is! Or should I say, THIS IS US!

Graffiti Vs Hip-Hop?...Not true!

Graffiti culture resonates at the roots of hip hop. The link between hip hop culture and graffiti occurs as early graffiti artists practised other aspects of hip hop and also because graffiti was practised in places where hip hop was evolving as an art form. A well-known graffiti artist HAZE created album covers for the Beastie Boys’ early albums and also worked with Chuck D from public enemy. The word graffiti originates from the Greek word ‘graphein’ which means to write. The word itself is a plural of the Italian word ‘graffito’. Graffiti is writing, tagging or aerosol art on a private or public surface which often makes it illegal. In 1971 the New York Times published the first article about graffiti. The article focused on the tags of Taki 183. A tag is a stylised signature. Taki was described as a bomber. This means that he was a type of graffiti writer who specialised in writing their name in as many places as possible. Taki is short for Demetaki which is another version of his Greek birth name Demetrius. He lived on 183rd street in Washington Heights which may explain his tag. He was the first New Yorker to become famous for writing graffiti. Other early graffiti artists include Top Cat, Cornbread and Tracy 168.  The graffiti documentary STYLE WARS was released in 1983. This introduced the mainstream public to hip hop graffiti.
The Manhattan Transit Authority claimed they spent equivalent to the domestic product of many Third World countries trying to stop graffiti artists on public transport. Gang members often used graffiti to communicate messages to their gangs and also outsiders. The greatest insult to a graffiti artist is if someone ‘slashes’ their work. Slash in this context means to put a line through or tag over someone’s tag.
Some scholars state that this is an art form and graffiti is similar to cave paintings or hieroglyphics. A message is being delivered and we need to interpret its symbolic meaning. Others see it as vandalism. Personally I admire the art of graffiti writing. Graffiti does symbolize our need as humans for communication, our need for meaning and it enables us to produce something which displays our existence is this crowded, busy world.  Graffiti can really bring to life dull or drab environments, it can brighten your journey on a tube or train. It can also beautify and alter our everyday surroundings unexpectedly and that I believe is the joy of graffiti.

Gothic Photoshopped Art!

Harry Potter Stoned

OMG!!...what am I under the new star signs(bcoz of Ophiuchus)??:O

While wars rage on in Afghanistan and Iraq, Haiti suffocates under a pile of rubble a year after a catastrophic earthquake and Australia is disappearing under part of whatever it is ocean they have in Australia, the world is freaking out. Because the star signs changed.

Yes, there are now thirteen meaningless categories upon which you can base decisions about your life such as mate compatibility, career direction and financial investments, the newest being Ophiuchus. Although pretty much no one can pronounce it, we know people born under the sign of Ophiuchus are said to be honest, intellectual, sexually magnetic, jealous and prone to change, all descriptors which totally make sense when discussing a single thirteenth of the population born between November 29th and December 17th.

But wait! There’s more! Even if you’re not an Ophiuchus, you may very well not actually be the star sign you thought you were. The entire roster of twelve signs has been re-jiggered, and many people have found themselves in the awkward position of having bought into the wrong category of vague bullshit all along! Here is the new list- is your birthday one of the affected days?

Capricorn: Jan. 20-Feb. 16.
Aquarius: Feb. 16-March 11.
Pisces: March 11-April 18.
Aries: April 18-May 13.
Taurus: May 13-June 21.
Gemini: June 21-July 20.
Cancer: July 20-Aug. 10.
Leo: Aug. 10-Sept. 16.
Virgo: Sept. 16-Oct. 30.
Libra: Oct. 30-Nov. 23.
Scorpio: Nov. 23-29.
Ophiuchus: Nov. 29-Dec. 17.
Sagittarius: Dec. 17-Jan. 20.